One
March 2010
… Little Bailee cowers in the corner, trembling with fear as her father beats her mother. Again. And again. Till Mama slumps over in her chair, unconscious. Or maybe dead? Bailee cries out in panic as Daddy’s maliciously gleaming eyes find her and he starts menacingly toward her, his arms raised for a beating... He reaches for her…
Twenty-three year old Bailee jerked up in bed with a shriek, shaking all over and breathing hard. Would they never end? These horrifying nightmares that filled her very soul with the demons of the past claimed her mind almost every night. It was past frightening; it was unimaginable.
Bailee pushed back the covers, feeling very hot, and flicked the bedside lamp on. She couldn’t stand the dark, especially when the terrifying nightmares came. She leaned her head against the bed board, refusing to close her eyes. If she did, the horrible images would come again.
“Bailee? Are you all right?”
Bailee jumped at the sound and then relaxed when she realized it was just her older sister Kylie peeking her head in the door.
Bailee nodded and patted the bed beside her. Kylie came and sat. “What happened? One of those nightmares of yours again?” She tossed her mass of curly hair behind her should, blue eyes wide with love and worry.
Bailed nodded again and wiped a strand of dark hair out of her eyes, studying her hand, as though it shaking were something of great interest.
Kylie took the shaking hand and squeezed it. “Are you going to be okay?” She asked with a worried expression on her pretty face, her eyebrows knitting together with concern.
Bailee forced a smile for her sister. It was just like Kylie; always taking care of others… she was so much like their mother. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. It just… scares me, that’s all.”
Kylie gave her a hug and stood. “Well, just get me if you need me.” She offered as she glanced at the clock. It was early, very early in the morning, but Bailee knew that Kylie was thinking she wouldn’t go back to sleep for a long time. Those nightmares scared the life out of her.
Kylie started toward the bedroom door and then stopped, turning around. “Would you like me to stay up with you?” She asked.
Bailee shook her head. “No. I know you need your sleep. I’ll be fine. I’ve had them before and I’ll have them again. I’ll deal with it.”
Kylie nodded, not completely satisfied, but left, closing the door softly behind her.
Bailee would’ve liked to have her sister’s company, but Kylie had gotten to bed very late, and she had to get up early in the morning for her job. Bailee knew she’d be fine. She just wished the nightmares would leave her. They were always there lurking in the back of her mind. Her father, Jake Stevens glowering over her beaten-dead mother, Courtney… Jake coming after Bailee with wild eyes. Sometimes they were an evil red or yellow, sometimes black and terrifying. Either way, Bailee hated the dream. Her mother would always lie there; sometimes she’d be badly hurt, most of the times she’d be dead. Bruises and blood would cover her limp body, and Bailee would scream out to her from the corner, but she would never listen. Ever.
Bailee wondered why her sisters never seemed to be in the dream. It was always only her. Only her to face the terror of her father’s drunken rage. Only her to call out to her mother, to try to awaken her… never to succeed…
Bailee sighed, trying to force the pictures out of her mind. She didn’t want to think about that. She didn’t want to think about sad things… and those were very sad things. She looked around her room, bathed in soft light. It was really very pretty, with the light lavender walls, and the white and lavender bedspread. Pictures with white frames graced the walls and shelves, mostly of her mom, and a few of her sisters. Dark purple curtains hung over the window. Bailee’s eyes traveled over each thing before stopping at the little fishbowl sitting on the nightstand, little Beans darting here and there in the water. Bailee smiled faintly. It was her sixth goldfish; she never seemed to be able to keep them alive, but every time one died, Kylie bought her a new one. But along with every goldfish that got bought for Bailee, another one was gotten for Kylie. She now had six in a tank sitting proudly in her bedroom. Bailee didn’t understand how Kylie kept hers alive and hale, but Bailee’s all died. So far Beans had been alive three days. Most survived only a week.
Bailee picked up the picture on her nightstand and looked lovingly at her mom. Courtney sat there with Kylie, Bailee, Sydney, and Ava all around her. Bailee closed her eyes as she tenderly traced her mother’s face. She could imagine her sparkling blue eyes when she was up to something; her sweet, soft smile. Bailee could almost feel her mother’s work-roughened but gentle hands caressing her, reassuring her that everything would be all right. She had always been so tender to her girls. But even in her happy moments, Bailee had seen a deep sadness in her eyes that could never be filled. How could it? Her father- Courtney’s husband- was a slob, a drunk, and an abuser. How could her mother be happy?
Tears clogged Bailee’s throat and she set the picture frame down a little harder than necessary. She hated him. Hated the wretched man that her father was. Hated that he had taken their mother, taken their happy childhood from them. When had she ever been completely carefree, able to just run around as she pleased, without worrying about a father coming home and being angry that the toys weren’t picked up, or that they weren’t on their best behavior? When had she ever had a daddy’s knee to sit on, a father’s love to lean on? She never had. None of them had. They had depended on their mother, and when she was gone, they depended on each other. That had been enough for them then. But now, Bailee wanted more. So much more.
Tears blurred her vision as she swung over the side of the bed and made her way out to the kitchen of the little two-bedroom apartment. Maybe a little something to eat would help.
She swiped at the tears trickling down her cheeks as she opened the refrigerator, then the freezer, looking for something to distract her. Spying a carton of chocolate ice cream, she pulled it out and got a spoon, then went and sat in the dark living room. She wouldn’t cry. Not tonight.
Sydney Stevens plopped down on the plush couch and propped her heavily socked feet on the coffee table. Bailee sat down across from her, wrapped in a blanket.
“Goodness, Bailee, why don’t you turn the heat up in here once in a while?” Sydney complained as she wrapped her arms tighter around herself.
“Hey, you know it’s not my apartment. Kylie says since it’s spring we don’t need the heat. I disagree.”
“Well, she’s not here, she’s at work! Turn it up while she’s gone.”
Bailee sighed. “Sydney…”
“Do it.” Sydney looked at Bailee with an older sister authority.
Bailee reluctantly got up and went to turn up the heat. “She’s going to kill me, Sid, just so you know.”
“Not until I give her a piece of my mind about keeping it so cold in here… what’s it at, anyway?”
Bailee returned to her seat. “It wasn’t on. The house was sixty degrees.”
Sydney shook her head. “She’s crazy.” Picking up the remote, Sydney turned on the TV, and asked Bailee to stick something in.
Bailee hesitated. “You sure? Look outside… sunny, warm…”
“… Covered with snow! Yes, I’m sure, Bailee. You know I can’t stand the snow.”
Bailee laughed. “Yes, I know.” After rummaging through Kylie’s stash of movies she picked one out and they started it.
About halfway through they heard a knock at the door and then Ava, their oldest sister came in with her daughter. “Hi, guys!” She greeted. “Kylie told me that you both were off today and were planning on crashing here. Thought I’d join you while Dillon’s at work.” She stooped to remove the little girl’s jacket, then took off her own. “What are you doing?”
“Watching a movie.” Bailee opened her arms to the little girl that came toddling toward her as fast as her chubby little legs would allow.
“Hi, Phoebe!” Bailee squeezed her hard.
Sydney patted the couch next to her. “Come sit, Ava.”
“Just a minute; I want to get some toys for Phoebe to play with.” The thirty-four year old turned around in circles. “Now where are they? They’re never in the same place.”
Bailee rose to get them. “That’s because Kylie’s constantly rearranging. She can’t leave her house in one way for more than a week.” She reappeared from the back bedroom where the basket of toys had been stuck and set them on the living room floor for the little tot to play with.
They had barely started the movie again before a phone started ringing.
Ava dug through her purse until she found her cell phone. “It’s not mine.”
Sydney disclaimed the noise as well.
Bailee groaned and rose to get hers. It was bad if they didn’t even know whose phone it was. “Hello?”
“Hi, Bailee, this is Andrew. How are you doing?” Bailee sighed quietly. Of course he would call now. She didn’t want to talk to him. “Hi, Andrew. I’m doing well. How about you?” She disguised her frustration, and even sounded pleased to hear from him.
“Fine. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight. I know its a little short notice, but I know you’re off today…”
Say no! Sydney mouthed. Ava smacked her arm. “Don’t tell her that! She needs a boyfriend.”
Sydney shook her head. “Oh no she doesn’t. Especially not Andrew.”
Ava looked shocked. “Seriously, Sydney, what’s wrong with Andrew?”
Sydney didn’t get a chance to reply because Bailee hung up right at that moment. “I guess I’m going out with him.” She sighed with slight dismay.
Ava looked from one girl to another with confusion. “Could someone please tell me why you don’t like Andrew Bean?”
“He’s fat!” The declaration came from both of them at the same time.
“Oh, he is not. I’ve seen him before.” Ava looked at Sydney, then Bailee. “Ok, so maybe not skinny, but he’s not fat. And besides, Bailee, if you don’t like him, why don’t you tell him so?”
“She’s too nice. She can’t stand to make someone angry.”
Bailee scowled at Sydney. “I’ve hinted to him several times that I’m not interested in a serious relationship… or any relationship with him.” She giggled slightly, and got serious. “But he doesn’t seem to get the point. It’s kind of getting annoying. Especially since he’s started referring us to everyone as together. And we are not together.”
“Well, tell him tonight. Okay?”
Bailee looked beseechingly at her oldest sister. “Ava… it’s not that easy.”
“Sure it is.” Ava broached her no-nonsense tone. “You just walk up to him, say ‘I’m not interested in a fat old bean like you,’ and then leave. It’s as easy as that.”
“Bean? No. I’m not calling him a bean.”
Sydney exhaled impatiently and rolled her eyes. “So who cares what you call him? Just tell him you don’t like him and be done with it! And then call me and tell me all about it when you leave.”
Bailee laughed and then sat back down in her chair and reached for the remote. “We’ll see,” she replied, “we’ll see.”
Bailee wearily pushed open the front door and came into the frigid apartment, then closed it and relocked it. Kicking her shoes off onto the mat by the door designated for that purpose, she plodded to her bedroom, where she dropped her purse on her bed, fed Beans a few pellets of food, then went rummaging through her dresser for a sweatshirt.
Kylie emerged from her bedroom, wearing sweat pants, a sweatshirt, and thick socks. “How was your date?”
“Kylie-” Bailee’s head momentarily disappeared under the sweater “- why do you have to keep it so cold in here?”
Kylie frowned with disapproval. “Yes, I saw that someone turned on the heat.”
Kylie had a weird way of answering what wasn’t asked. Bailee held up her hands. “Sydney made me. I know your wrath!”
Kylie shook her head, then repeated her question. “How was your date?”
“You mean my break-up? Horrible.” She plopped down on her bed.
Kylie’s mouth dropped open. “You broke up with him?!” Her incredulous voice ended on a very high note. “Bailee, why?”
“Because I didn’t like him. He’s fat, boring, pretends he’s a Southerner, and I don’t want to be in any type of serious relationship right now- maybe never. And not with him.”
Kylie’s lips formed a pout and she crossed her arms. “I liked him.”
“Of course you would.” Bailee sullenly replied. Having to tell Andrew she didn’t want to see him anymore had put her in bad spirits. He wasn’t very happy at her, and he had not even tried to take it well.
After a few silent moments Kylie’s interest seemed to get the better of her. “So, what happened?”
Bailee smiled at her sister’s eagerness. She knew Kylie would relent and ask sooner or later. She got off the bed and went to the kitchen where she set the tea kettle on the stove. Kylie followed her like a puppy waiting for a treat.
“Well, I debated about whether I should tell him right away, or if we should sit and eat first… I decided on right away.” She pulled out a tea bag and a mug and set them out beside the stove, then turned and leaned against the counter. “But when I got there, he was already waiting for me so I didn’t have much choice but to go sit down. Anyway, when I told him, he got angry, and he stood up and started yelling about… stuff.” Bailee turned red. “I don’t even have a clue about half of the things he was saying, but by the time he was done, everybody in the whole restaurant was watching us.” She smirked. “So then I just got up as quietly as I could and left, leaving him standing there.” A touch of sadness entered Bailee’s voice, but only fleetingly.
Kylie stood staring at her, speechless. “Oh, Bailee, you’re so mean.”
The tea pot started whistling. Bailee shut it off and poured the steaming water into her cup, then turned around to face her sister with her arms crossed. “Kylie, I thought we made a truce to remain the old spinsters, anyway! So why does it matter to you that I broke up with him?”
Kylie shrugged. “It’s just that he was a nice, sweet guy. And-”
“- You wanted me to spend the rest of my life bored to tears by him.” Bailee sauntered out to the living room and plopped down on the couch. “Kylie, you never spent more than half of an hour with him. How do you know what he was like?”
Kylie raised her eyebrows. “Hey, I was the one who introduced you to him in the first place, remember?” She put her hands on her hips.
Bailee nodded. “I know, I know. And from now on you can keep your guys to yourself.” She sighed. “I don’t want them.”
Kylie shook her head. “Fine. Then I’ll just keep the one I just heard about to myself.”
Bailee looked up and nodded once. “Okay.”
“The one that’s hot… rich…” Kylie started wandering back to her bedroom.
Bailee shook her head. Her sister was trying to corner her. “I don’t want him either, Kylie!” She shouted to her sister’s back.
Kylie’s bedroom door slammed.
WOW!!! you are so good at writing!!! this chapter I can see nothing wrong with to criticize you about all I can say is... GOOD JOB EMMY!! :)
ReplyDeletewhy thank you! :) that means so much to me!!!! :) when I look at my books all I can see is mistakes and problems, so i'm glad you don't feel the same! I'll post the 2nd chap. very soon! :)
ReplyDeletethat is all I see too in ours anyway... I will start posing shortly... no set day just soon!
ReplyDelete