Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Chapter 5

Five

                Riley jogged out to grab the mail for his grandparents. He stopped in the middle of the driveway and flipped through it. Junk, more junk, something possibly interesting…
            “Riley!”
            Riley looked across the street where a young woman stood in running shorts and a headband and mentally groaned. “Hi, Mae.”
            She walked toward him with a big smile. “Hey, you know, it can be a little boring out here in the country. If you ever need anything exciting to do I’m right across the street. And I’m free every night except Saturdays.” There was a gleam in her plain brown eyes.
            Way too obvious. Riley forced a smile. “Thanks.” He turned and continued on up the driveway. He was here to help his grandpa build his barn, not give some woman something exciting to do in the country.
            Dropping the mail on the kitchen counter, he went to the bookshelf on the far end of the kitchen and grabbed a cookbook. Snagging the nearest chair, he plopped down and started looking through it. He’d told Grams he’d make dinner tonight. Now he just needed to find something to make. She’d said something preferably with chicken. Fine, he was good with chicken. Fried chicken… Nah. Too plain. Stuffed chicken… too much work. Finally he found something interesting. He would make noodles with chicken gravy. That would please her and maybe Gramps as well. Maybe he’d think he wasn’t such a lazy guy anymore. And if he still did… well, Riley didn’t really care what Gramps thought.

At promptly 6:00, they sat down to eat a meal of noodles with chicken gravy, peas, and homemade buttered bread.
            “This is delicious, Riley!” Grams exclaimed as soon as she had swallowed her first bite. “I think you must cook just about as well as me.” There was a twinkle in her eyes.
            Riley smiled at her and opened his mouth to say something when Gramps said, “A man who works in the kitchen is no man at all. Cooking is woman’s work.”
            Riley stuffed a bite in his mouth to keep from replying. Fine. If Gramps didn’t like him cooking he wouldn’t. Not because Gramps said no, but because it would create less problems, and it would enable him to be able to live with the old grouch. His level of tolerance only reached so high. When dinner was finished he would help Grams clean up, since he had made the mess, then he would disappear upstairs while his Gramps listened to his radio. Grams would settle in her old rocker and work on some knitting or some old lady thing like that. But Riley couldn’t stand to just sit around after dinner doing nothing, so he wouldn’t. He would go upstairs and write a letter to his mother, or maybe Bethanie, and if nothing else interested him, maybe he’d go for a run. Or maybe he could get a book from the limited amount of them that Grams and Gramps had around the house. He was going to go crazy here soon. He wasn’t used to having free time such as this. In Kentucky he kept himself busy almost all day with work, social life, anything to keep him occupied. Here, there was nothing. If he wanted to chat or hang out, he had Gramps or Gran. Or, of course, Mae. But he would spend time with her only when she was the last person on earth. Austin’s and Amy’s house was a good twenty-five minutes away, maybe more. Who he wouldn’t mind spending some more time with was Bailee. He knew that she had no guy interested in her, but why ever not he didn’t know. She was cute. And intriguing. He wanted to know what Austin had meant about her suffering heartache. He liked the way her short brown hair framed her face, her big brown eyes surrounded with long, black lashes. What he would like best is to be able to see her more often, convince her that spending time with him was good. He wasn’t sure how she felt about him, only that she really wasn’t interested. But he had a feeling he could make her be. He was sure.

            Bailee ate a quick dinner of warmed up leftovers, then headed to Ava’s and Dillon’s. Arriving, she knocked once, and then let herself in. She could hear Phoebe chattering about something, and she realized that they were eating dinner. Well, she probably could’ve waited and come when they were finished, but it was too late now. Although, by the volume with which their little girl was speaking, she doubted they had even heard her knock or come in. Kicking off her shoes she headed to the dining room and poked her head in. “Hi, guys.”
            Phoebe immediately smiled and pointed at her. “Auntie Lee-Lee! Come! Come!”
            Bailee smiled and kissed her cheek covered in something orange— squash— Bailee guessed. “Hi, munchkin.” Straightening, she said, “Hi, Dillon. Ava, I’m just gonna head on back.”
            “Ok.” Ava reached over and scooped some more squash onto Phoebe’s spoon, since she seemed to be having trouble.
            Bailee left them to their dinner and headed to the room at the very back of the hallway—her studio. She had always wanted to have her own private studio, but her parent’s house had had no extra rooms, and Kylie’s apartment didn’t have any extra room. So, when Ava and Dillon moved into this house, they graciously offered her one of the two extra rooms for her studio. She came here quite often, at least once a week, most of the time more.
Entering the studio, she breathed in the fragrance of paint, canvas, and a slightly musty smell. She loved the way her room smelled. The room was large and spacious, with two large windows allowing her plenty of natural light. Of course, except when it got dark. Then, she had many, many lights in here to make it bright. A dark studio was something that she couldn’t deal with.
She closed the door behind her, then crossed the room to her easel. She pulled the sheet off of it and set it aside, then pulled her apron from a hook on the wall. She prepared everything. It didn’t take long. The only thing she had to go out for was to fill her bucket with water. Her paints were out and set in rows by colors. Her paintbrushes were spread out and categorized by types. Her canvas was on the easel. Now, where was her inspiration? It was usually there. It was usually crowding her with a vibrant picture loud in her mind, only quieting when she retreated to her studio and created it. But today it was silent. Today, her mind was empty. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, letting her thoughts dissipate. It would come if she let it. Don’t think, don’t think. Simply relax…
Aha! There it was, taking shape, a picture in her mind. But this time it wasn’t bright and vibrant. This time it was quiet and somber, a reflection of her mood. Then, while the pictures were still fresh in her mind, she picked up her brush and palette, letting the images flow from her heart, to her mind, to her hand, transpiring onto the canvas in a voice of blended colors and emotion. She didn’t stop till she was finished, and when she was done she stepped back, exhausted. This always tired her. It was like a part of her being let out and described on the canvas; it was her passion.
She studied the canvas. It satisfied her. It looked good. The picture would always remind her of the scare she had today from Andrew, the panic he’d created. It had a touch of anger from seeing the little girl mistreated at the store.
She bundled up her paints and put them away, then did the same with her brushes, taking special care to not ruin the bristles. After emptying her bucket of now dirty water, she returned to her painting and studied it for one final moment before storing it in her portfolio. Finally, she removed her apron and hung it back up on the hook, then covered the easel back up. She was finished and everything looked like it had when she arrived. It was ready for her next inspiration. She smiled and softly left the room. She didn’t have to worry. She knew that Ava and Dillon would leave the room alone. Her sacred haven. They had promised, and Bailee knew they would keep their word.
No one had ever seen her paintings except Miles. Maybe no one else ever would. It was better they didn’t; she liked it that way. It was the way she let out her feelings, and it would feel wrong to share them with others. Miles was the one who had encouraged her in her painting, the one who’d made her keep going even when everything had made her want to give it up. He was the reason she was still painting today.
She waved goodbye to Ava and Dillon and then left, surprised that it was already 9:00. She had stayed later then she had meant to. Kylie would be home, and she would want to know about Bailee’s day. And Bailee would share about Andrew, because he really had scared her, and she wanted Kylie to know the true nature of the man. Arriving home, she entered the little apartment and smelled something like burnt bread. Kylie had tried to make dinner and failed, apparently.
“Kylie?” She called as she kicked of her shoes. She peered into the sink, but didn’t see any dirty dishes. At least Kylie had cleaned up some.
“Back here, Bailee. How was your day off?”
Bailee leaned against the doorframe of Kylie’s bedroom. Sure enough, Kylie was eating a burnt—very burnt—grilled cheese sandwich. “Um, ok I guess. Andrew stopped by.”
Kylie looked up, surprised. “He did? What for?”
Bailee told her why and what had happened. By the time she finished Kylie had a half horrified half grieved expression on her face. “I thought he was such a nice guy.” Kylie gave Bailee a hug. “Poor sis. Are you gonna be fine? Should I call him?”
Bailee gently untangled herself from her sister. “No. Don’t do that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Kylie. Positive. Please do not do anything. He may not come back. I may have read more into what he was saying then what there really was.” You know me, always freaking out, always panicking. She could imagine Kylie thinking the same thing, but, being the sweet sister she was, she wouldn’t say anything.
Bailee turned and started to go out when Kylie called her name.
“Did you pray about it?” Kylie asked softly, tentatively.
“No. Don’t plan to either.” Bailee left without another word and closed herself in her bedroom. What Kylie wanted to do with God and prayer was fine, but she wasn’t going to back Bailee into a corner about it. When she had been little, back when Mom was alive, she had gone to church. Professed to be saved, even. Eventually it had slipped, mainly once Mom died. Now, it seemed prayer was pointless. God did what he wanted, regardless of her pleas and petitions. Talking to him did nothing, and honestly, he really didn’t seem to care one way or the other about people.

Kylie watched her sister’s back disappear, and then knelt by her bed. Bailee was hurting, she knew, but weren’t they all? And what better way to deal with the hurt and sorrow then to give it to God and let him hold you? She didn’t understand why Bailee pulled away. She couldn’t understand why people didn’t want to love God, didn’t see him the way she did.
Dear God, please, please, let Bailee see your love. Let her want you, God. I’m trying to help her see, but I can’t on my own. You know what it’s like to lose someone, you lost your son, but, for goodness’ sake, it’s been almost seven years since Mom died. She needs to heal. Just please give her your presence.
She stood, knowing her prayers would have results. Someday. It was just hard to keep praying, wanting, and never seeming to see any progress.

…“Mommy!” Bailee screams. She runs around in the house, looking everywhere, but can’t find her. The house is like one big, scary maze, and Mommy isn’t anywhere. Suddenly a giant shadow stares over her. “Mommy!”
Daddy’s growl surrounds her, and his red eyes show slivers of hate. “You want your Mommy?” He hauls her over his arm while she screams, walking through pathway after pathway of the house, suddenly coming upon a room that smelled horribly strong of the odor of death and fear. Daddy dropped her and she tumbled to the ground rolling against something. She turns to see what it is and gasps, her shrieks making Daddy laugh with menace…
Bailee jerked awake, her palms sweating and her heart beating at a fast and erratic pace. No! It’s not true… it didn’t happen that way.
“Bailee. Calm down.” Bailee drew a deep breath and forced herself to relax. Swallowing hard she closed her eyes. The image danced behind her eyelids with a terrifying clarity. Her eyes flew open and she sat up, suddenly shivering. She buffed her arms. “No. Mom didn’t die that way. She didn’t look like that…” Even though her eyes were open, the pictures came before her again… Mom lying there with eyes wide, though lifeless while rats ate at her flesh.
Bailee looked around the room for something—anything—that she could put her mind on. Her gaze caught the dusty Bible sitting on her desk that she hadn’t touched in several years. She was almost tempted to get it, but stopped herself in time. It was God that had put her here in the first place. God who had left them in this mess. It was his fault, and she wasn’t going to forgive him. Ever.
A lump formed in her throat while a tear trickled down her cheek. “I miss you, Mom…”

Bailee pulled up to the gas pump, hurrying to fill her car. She was running late this afternoon, and if she didn’t fill this in about two seconds, she was going to be beyond late for work. She stood lost in thought while the gas flowed into her car, when she suddenly heard her name being called. She turned for the source and saw Riley filling up a truck on the next set of pumps. He smiled, and she saw his dimples, even from back here. It did something to her, but she ignored the feeling and returned the smile. “Hi, Riley. Did you need something?”
“Uh, well. Not really.” He paused. “Hey, wanna catch a late lunch?”
Bailee shook her head and removed the nozzle, setting it back in its pocket. “No, thanks. I got to get to work.”
“Dinner?”
“No, thank you.”
“Why?”
Why? Because I hardly know you? Because I don’t want to be involved. Because—“Because I just don’t.”
“That’s not a reason.”
She just looked at him.
“Give me a good reason and I’ll back off.”
“Ok.  A good reason? I hardly know you.”
“And?”
“And I don’t want to go out with you.” There. She’d said it.
He actually looked hurt, which made her feel slightly guilty. She almost wanted to relent, but instead looked back to the pump and paid.
“Well… Ok. Another time.”
She nodded but when she turned around he was hidden behind his truck. She climbed in her car and pulled out. She really hadn’t tried to hurt him or make him feel bad, but he had put her in a hard spot. Not knowing him wasn’t really the major reason she hadn’t wanted to go out with him, just the one she was willing to say. The other reason was a surprise even to her, and she would have never said it to him. She had mostly said no because she knew that if she went she would enjoy being with him, and he would end up thinking it was something more than it was. Plus, she would be tempted to break her pact with Kylie to not date. That was the thing that surprised her the most. She’d never felt that way with any guy.

Riley leaned against his truck and listened to her leave the station. Ok, so that hadn’t gone so well. Fine. He would try another time. Today wasn’t even on his schedule to see her; it had just been an added bonus to find her at the same gas station he was at. He would find a way to go out with her. Somehow. Suddenly, a thought struck him. He chuckled softly and pulled out his phone wondering why he hadn’t thought of it before.

Bailee left work, worn out as usual. She enjoyed working with the kids, but they always tired her out. She reached home and debated about what to make for dinner. Kylie would be home soon and could help her decide, but she wanted to have it started right away. Finally she chose spaghetti, but before she could even get out a pot, her phone started ringing. She checked the caller id before answering.
“Hey, Amy. What’s up?”
“Hi, Bailee. What do you think about going out? With me… and Austin and some of his friends? Kylie could come too.”
Bailee really wanted nothing more than to make dinner and then curl up on the couch and relax. “I don’t know about tonight, Amy. I’m pretty tired.”
“Oh, come on, Lee-Lee. You’re turning into an old maid. We’re just going out for dinner. Nothing fancy.”
Bailee sighed. Did she really have to? No, but if she didn’t she would never hear the end of it, and she really did enjoy spending time with Amy and Austin. “Fine.”
“That’s a girl. Is Kylie home yet?”
“No, but she will be anytime.”
“Ok, well you two can meet us at Ed’s in, um, let’s say, thirty minutes. That sound good?”
“That should be fine.” Bailee hung up and exhaled. She’d been tricked into going out. Maybe Kylie would be sick and wouldn’t be able to come. Of course, then Bailee would still be expected to go.
She sighed again, louder. She wondered if there was any way she could plead sickness to keep from going. She didn’t want to go out tonight. She didn’t want to see people tonight. She wanted to make her spaghetti like she was planning on and then sit and read her book. Or take a bath. Not go out in the world and act like the happy social bug that she wasn’t.
But Ed’s Burritos really did tempt her. That was a place that was rather hard to resist.
Kylie came in. “It’s warm outside! Bailee, did you feel how nice it was outside?” She slipped off her shoes and threw her bag on the couch. “Hey, what’s for dinner?”
Bailee waved a hand. “Ed’s Burritos . Be ready in thirty minutes.”
“Ooh, sounds fun.” Kylie smiled. “With who? Amy?”
Bailee nodded, unenthused.
They were ready with time to spare, but they went ahead and left anyway, arriving at the restaurant several minutes early. After waiting for seven minutes, Bailee saw Austin’s car pull in. Bailee wondered who all would be here. Amy hadn’t said, only that Austin and some friends were coming. She watched from the window of the restaurant as they got out of the car, watching as Austin, Amy, and Blake get out. Her eyes widened with something far from pleasant surprise as she watched the last person get out. He saw her looking from the window and gave her a triumphant smile.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Chapter 4

Four

            Amy opened the front door wide and ushered in Kylie, Sydney, and Bailee, looking springy in a pink flowery sundress. “Hey, girls!” Amy welcomed as she pushed the door shut. “Glad you were able to come too, Kylie.”
            “Yeah, I ended up being off in time.”
            Bailee peered around the wall dividing the entry way from the family room. “So, who else is here?”
            Amy led the way to the kitchen, where the three sisters deposited food and drinks that they had brought along. “Oh, not too many people. Blake’s here again, and Hailey and Audrey Myers are here too.”
            Bailee smiled as they made their way out to the family room. She kind of wondered why Amy and Austin were having a get together so soon after the last one. It had only been two weeks, and they were so busy Bailee hadn’t expected one for a long time. Not that she minded. She would’ve found a way to hang out with Amy at some point anyway.
            “Hi, Audrey and Hailey. Good to see you all again.” Bailee plopped down on the couch next to the two petite girls. Bailee wasn’t big, but compared to them she felt giant.
            Both blonds looked at her and smiled, returning her greeting.  Everyone found a seat to sit in around the room, and the chattering from several different conversations at once started to get very loud and obnoxious.
            Bailee cringed. She had a headache. She hadn’t even planned to come tonight except for the fact that Amy had literally begged her on the phone. If she had been with her in person, Bailee was sure that she would have been on her knees.
            Finally, after sitting sunk into the couch cushions listening to the jibber-jabber, she turned to the Myer sisters. “How’s your brother, Logan?” She asked.
            Hailey replied, since Audrey was in some sort of debate about politics with Blake and Austin. “He’s great. He was gonna come tonight, but he was busy.” Hailey’s eyes sparkled, and Bailee had a pretty good idea what she meant by “busy”.
            “He should’ve brought Megan here,” Bailee said, “I haven’t seen her in forever.”
            Hailey rolled her eyes. “Oh, you know how he is. Wanting to be alone. Hates crowds. It’s actually a good thing, ‘cause Megan prefers it too.”
            Bailee smiled. “Yeah, I know. So are they engaged yet?”
            “Engaged? Are you kidding me? Logan won’t even talk about that.”
            Bailee looked at her in surprise. “They’ve been together for two years.”
            “I know, but he’s got cold feet all of a sudden and won’t discuss getting married with anybody. I-”
            The doorbell ringing interrupted her sentence but she never bothered to finish it. Austin sent a quick glance Amy’s way and she hopped up to get the door.
            Bailee was curious as to who would still be coming, but she didn’t wonder long, for he soon made his appearance: Riley.
            Bailee looked towards Amy, but she only gave her a little grin and nudged Riley into the room. He looks nice, Amy mouthed behind him.
            Bailee ground her teeth together. Kylie was bad enough; she didn’t need Amy in on it too. How many times did she have to tell those girls that she didn’t need a man, didn’t even want him, no matter how good-looking he was. But she did have to admit Riley looked good. She’d never seen the casual outfit of jeans and a dark blue button-up look so good on someone before.
            He smiled at her. “Hey, Bailee. Nice to see you again.” His dark hair didn’t look like it had been put in any semblance of order. Just tousled about, however it fell.
            Bailee smiled back and leaned forward a little out of the squishy couch, trying not be sunk entirely in its folds. “Hi, Riley.”
            She saw Riley and Austin share a conspiratorial glance as Riley said hi to him and Blake. Amy raised her eyebrows at the two as she walked past and disappeared in the kitchen with a slight smile on her face.
            Austin pointed at Hailey and Audrey, causing Riley’s attention to shift to them. “This is Hailey and Audrey Myers.” Riley shook their hands, his big tan one dwarfing their tiny ones. Riley then sat down in the only available chair, the one next to Bailee’s end of the couch. He smiled at her, and Bailee had no choice but to give her attention as he asked, “What’s been keeping you busy lately?”
            “Work. That about sums it up.”
            Riley raised his eyebrows a fraction. “Just work?”
            Bailee shrugged. “Pretty much. How’s your grandpa’s barn going?”
            Riley sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Well, we have about a fourth of it done, maybe. It takes a while, but we’re getting there.”
            Austin turned towards the TV at that moment and flipped it on, scanning the channels and finally settling on some sports game that was on. Soon most conversation had dwindled as Blake, Hailey, Kylie and Audrey joined Austin. Sydney left and joined Amy in the kitchen.
            Bailee closed her eyes and subconsciously rubbed her temples with her index fingers.
            “Headache?”
            Bailee opened her eyes with a start; she hadn’t even realized what she was doing, but Riley was looking at her with concern.
            “Yeah.” She stood. “This game’s not helping, either. Maybe I should go in the kitchen and see if they need help.”
            Riley uncrossed his arms and rose too. “You wanna go for a walk? That might help it.”
            “Aren’t you interested in that?” Bailee indicated  the television.
            “Nah. Come on, it’ll be fun.” There was pleading sparkling in his bright blue eyes.
            Bailee looked at him. She really shouldn’t, but then, what could it hurt? It wasn’t like he was asking for a date. Simply a walk and she had to admit she liked walks. Only walks with men she hardly knew were worth the worry. And Riley was definitely someone she didn’t know so well…
            Finally she nodded, regretting the decision as soon as she made it. “Ok.” After she quickly informed Kylie of where she was going—who barely spared her a glance—Bailee slipped on her shoes, grabbed her sweatshirt and went out with Riley, hoping she hadn’t made a mistake. They walked around the neighborhood, side by side, their arms occasionally bumping.
            “Are you seeing anyone presently, Bailee?” It was a casually spoken question.
            Bailee looked up at Riley, but it was too dark to see his face. “No. You?” She wasn’t really interested in whether he was or not, she was simply making conversation. She rubbed her arms and then pushed her hand deeper into her sweater’s pocket. The sharp wind billowed around them as the dark sky filled with clouds, obscuring the moon from view.
            Riley shook his head, his brown hair lifting in the wind. “Nope.”
            Several more minutes of slightly awkward silence.
            “Do you have family? Brothers, sisters?” Bailee attempted at keeping the conversation going, wishing every moment that she hadn’t agreed to walk.
            “One sister. Bethanie. She’s married and lives in Illinois.”
            “You’re parents live in Kentucky?”
            “Yep. Well, actually, I think my mom recently moved in with Bethanie and her husband.” He glanced at her. “They’re separated.” He spoke with a no-big-deal attitude as he shoved his hands in his pockets.
            “Oh. I’m sorry.”
            “Well, they’re not officially divorced and they only separated recently, so there’s still hope.”
            Bailee smiled bitter sweetly. Hope. Yes, there was still hope for his parents. Unlike hers. Dead. Prison. There was no hope for hers now. Not ever.
            “What about your parents and siblings?”
            Bailee should’ve supposed it would come to that. She swallowed hard, refusing to tell him who her dad was. “I have another sister, Ava, who’s married and has a little girl named Phoebe.” She walked two steps. “Um, my parents are also separated.” She lied. Well, they are separated. Just not in the way he thinks.
            He looked at her then, his feature brightening momentarily as they passed under a streetlamp, then plunging back into darkness, making them unreadable. His gaze was disconcerting, his eyes dark. Liar, liar, his stare seemed to say, although she figured it was her imagination. There was no way he would know the truth. Was there? Had Amy and Austin possibly shared something? They wouldn’t have… would they? They were dear and devoted friends, but from what she could see Riley was too.
            She looked away, not willing to play his staring game.  “Can we go back now?”
They turned around and The rest of the way was walked in an eerie silence, the neighborhood quietly preparing for night.
            It was not long after that they reached the Burk’s house, and Bailee felt a measure of relief. This walk had heightened, if anything, the pain in her head, and she could only hope that her sisters would be ready to leave soon. She wasn’t sure how much more she could handle, especially with Riley there interested in her personal life. A life she was not willing to share. With anyone, but especially with him. She knew people like him; the ones that would look at you with extreme sympathy. Bailee didn’t want that. She didn’t want sympathy.

Bailee wiped a hand across her forehead as she jogged up the sloped sidewalk. It had changed from chilly to warm with almost a night and day difference. Yesterday, the get together at the Burgs, had been chilly and cloudy. Today was sunny and warm, even at 7:30 in the morning.
Pausing, she picked a new album on her iPod and then stuck it back into her pocket, continuing her jog.
After she got home she had a whole day free… to herself! The thought sounded so deliciously wonderful that she picked up the pace a little. Once she got back to the apartment she would do some cleaning up since the place was a pigpen, then she would do some grocery shopping—ok, not so fun— then she might go and visit Gail Hatchet, the ninety-year-old woman that was practically like an aunt to the Steven sisters. Even when everyone else had forsaken them because of the “unpardonable act” of their father, Gail Hatchet had stayed strong beside them, showing them real friendship.
Reaching home she immediately got a shower, threw on a summery outfit, cleaned up the apartment, and headed to the grocery store. Picking up all the food supplies they needed, she took them home. She would just make something to take to Gail… perhaps a casserole of sorts? Maybe her famous cheese and meat one that everyone liked so much. After putting together the casserole and sticking it in the oven she sat down and picked up a book that she had been trying to read for almost two weeks. Just because it was her day off didn’t mean she had to stay busy doing the things usually neglected. She had gotten no more than three pages further into the book when her phone rang. Locating the sound, she picked it up off the counter. “Hello?”
“Hey, beautiful.” The same voice. Like an over-practiced fake Southern accent.
She sighed heavily. “Andrew, I thought--”
“Just wait a second, hon’, and listen to me. You don’t even know what I’m going to say and you go crazy. Now calm down.”
Bailee paced the kitchen, waiting for him to speak. Finally she said, “I’m calm.”
“Ok, then,” Bailee could tell he was smiling. “I was hopin’ I could catch you home. This must be your day off?”
“Yes?”
“Ok, well I was wantin’ to come over. I want to talk to you about, you know, the other night.”
The other night? The night like three weeks ago? “Um, isn’t it a little late?”
“I’ve been busy. Real busy.” He drew out real like she was missing out on his life and it was a secret that she couldn’t know about.
She suppressed her frustration. That last thing she wanted was Fake-Accent Andrew coming over and ruining her wonderful day off. And she had no desire to rehash the other night, especially not if Andrew hoped to start things again. “Sorry, Andrew. I don’t see how it’ll work. I’m getting ready to go.” As if to prove her point the timer on the stove buzzed, announcing the finishing of the casserole.
“Great, sweetheart. I’ll be over in about five minutes. I’m right up that way. See ya in a bit.” The line went dead. Bailee snapped her phone shut and slammed it to the counter, then snatched it back up again to make sure she hadn’t damaged it. Finding it unharmed she set it down more gently and groaned. She’d as good as said no, and the aggravating man was still coming! This is why she had broken up with him… among other things. As she pulled the casserole out of the stove she considered leaving anyway and letting him come to an empty home, but knowing Andrew, he’d probably just wait for her. No, better get it over with as soon as possible.
Bailee turned off the oven and stuck the casserole inside, leaving the door open just a crack. Just then there was a knock at that door. If nothing else, Andrew was at least punctual. She opened the door with a less than enthused expression and Andrew pushed past her into the room, settling himself on the couch.
“Come here, Bailee. We need to talk.”
Bailee sighed, pushed the apartment door shut, and sat down on the edge of the couch as far away from as possible.
“I know you had, well, other impressions the other night about us, but I figured by now you were willing to rethink your decision.”
Bailee was shaking her head before his sentence was halfway finished. “No, Andrew. I know exactly what I said. Same thing I’m still saying. You’re not right for me. You’ve never been right for me. And the biggest thing, I am not interested. In anybody.” She rose, hoping Andrew would see that this was the end of their discussion and leave. All he did was lean forward, resting his hands on his knees. “Bailee, what did I ever do to you? What made you turn away from me? Is there someone else?” He stood up and came close to her. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?” His gaze and tone had a touch of possessive angriness.
Bailee started to shake and backed up. He followed. She backed away faster, running into a stool at the counter. Losing her balance, she grasped at the counter edge but missed, and would have fallen backwards over the stool had Andrew not caught her. He grabbed her and pulled her close. “See? You need me.”
She pushed on his chest, panic seizing. “Please, Andrew! You’re making me uncomfortable… I’m…”
He let go of her suddenly and she stumbled backwards. “Who is it, Bailee? Who?” The look in his eyes scared her.
Bailee couldn’t stop shaking. “There’s no one, Andrew. I have no one.” She walked to the door on legs that felt like jelly, pulled it open, and waited for him to exit. He stared hard at her for a long moment and then stalked through the door without a word. Bailee shut the door and leaned against it, the panic in her real and frightening. Her legs felt like they couldn’t hold her and she sank down to the floor holding her face in her hands. What had made him act like that? Yes, they’d gone out on several dates, they’d had fun—well, some—she’d been friendly, but he hadn’t had her long enough to feel so possessive. He had scared her. Really scared her.
Andrew’s engine revved to life and then his Corvette roared off. Bailee waited till she could no longer hear it, then rose, gathered the casserole dish—which was cooled considerably—and left the house, heading for Gail Hatchet’s home.
The drive over only took ten minutes, and on her way up to the elderly lady’s door she waved to Fred Newman, Gail’s neighbor, who was sitting on his porch. She liked to think of him as Mr. Says, because he seemed to have a saying for every occasion or problem there was.
“Gail!” Bailee called through the screen door. She opened it and went to the kitchen, setting the casserole on the counter. “Gail I’m here.”
Gail ambled around the corner and smiled when she saw Bailee, her eyes crinkling to mere slits. “Hello, dear. What’d you bring me this time?” She reached out a wrinkled old hand and squeezed Bailee’s shoulder with surprising strength for a ninety-year-old woman.
“I brought you a casserole. The one I make best.” Bailee smiled and put the dish in the oven, then made her way to the kitchen table, holding a chair out for Gail.
“So how’s Tabitha?” Bailee set the teapot on to boil, then sat down across from Gail.
“Oh, same as ever, she is. Got into my garbage can out back last night and swallowed a chicken bone. Had me scared for a while with her choking, but then she threw it up . Fred took one look at her and said ‘Curiosity killed the cat!’ then went back into his house as if he had just given a great prophecy.” Gail laughed and Bailee joined her. It had been too long since she had visited her. Bailee needed it as much as Gail.
“What about Sydney and Kylie? And of course Ava?”
“Well,” the teapot interrupted her sentence, and she got up to turn it off, pouring the steaming water over teabags in mugs. “They’re doing fine. Nothing new has happened with us.” She set a mug in front of Gail and then sat down again.
Gail looked at her. “How about you, dear? Have someone special in your life?”
Bailee looked at the old woman’s eyes, then looked away. “No.” She could hardly count Andrew. She wouldn’t have counted him when they were still “together”, much less now.
They chatted for a long while. Bailee helped her clean her house, gave her a hug and kiss, and then left.
On her way out, Bailee noticed that Mr. Says was still sitting on his porch. She waved to him as she unlocked her car.
“Looks like you got a broken mirror.” He called.
Why does everyone keep telling me what’s so obvious? Do they think I can’t see it? “Yeah. I do.”
            “I know someone who could fix it for you real cheap.”
            Bailee walked closer to the man’s porch so they wouldn’t be shouting across the whole neighborhood. “You do?”
            “Yep. Hold on a sec. I’ll get you the number.” 
            “Thanks.” She waited while he went inside.
            “Here you are, girlie. Like I always say, it never hurts to have lots o’ connections.”
            Bailee smiled and held up the scrap of paper. “Thanks for this. Goodbye, Mr. Sa—uh, Newman.” As she walked back to Janie she hoped Fred didn’t notice her blunder. That would not be good. She needed to get out of the habit of calling him that. On her way home she remembered that she had forgotten to grab an item from the grocery store when she had stopped earlier, so she pulled into the parking lot and ran in.
            A commotion at the end of an aisle caught her eye as she was walking through the store. She couldn’t help pausing as a child cried loudly in a shopping cart.
            “Stop it!” A woman hissed angrily at her. Bailee guessed it was her mother.
            The little girl didn’t stop, just cried louder. The woman turned away from her and surveyed the items on the shelf. Bailee watched her face turn redder and redder and finally she whirled around and slapped the child’s cheek. “I said stop it, you brat. You’re not getting any treats today, and if you don’t shut up, you’ll never get any treats again!” The girl sank as far back into the cart as she could and whimpered with a big poochie lip, rubbing her red cheek.
            Bailee walked away, not able to see anymore. She was disgusted and angry with the mother, sorry for the child… What she wanted most to do was go up to the woman and give her the same treatment she had given her daughter. Bailee had a hard time dealing with people hitting their children. There was a fine line between disciplining and abuse. Maybe that was part of the reason she wasn’t getting married. Because if she got married she’d want to have kids, and she was afraid to discipline them. 
            She left the store with what she needed and drove home, sorely missing the mirror lacking on her jeep.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Chapter 3

Three
“So how’d you like Riley?” Kylie questioned on the way home.
“Oh, he was ok.” Bailee tried to be casual, but her sister saw through the act.
“C’mon, Bailee. I know you.” Kylie’s eyes gleamed mischievously. “And I think he liked you too.”
Bailee smiled rather sheepishly. “Ok. You got me there; I liked him. But as a friend, Kylie.” She amended once she saw her sister’s triumphant look. “That’s all.”
“For now.” Kylie practically sang the two words. How was it that she was so excited over Bailee’s love life, but not her own?
Several moments of comfortable silence ensued.
“Ava asked me to visit Dad with her again tonight,” Bailee commented quietly.
            Kylie continued to look out the window at the passing street lights like it was no big deal. “Did she?”
            Bailee glanced over at her. “Why does she keep asking me?” She asked with frustration.
            Kylie studied her sister. “Have you forgiven him?”
            Bailee kept her eyes firmly on the road before her. “Who?” She knew exactly who Kylie was talking about.
            “Dad.”
            “Oh.”
            A moment of silence passed.
            “Well?”
            “Well, what?”
            “Have you forgiven him?” Kylie repeated her question with patience.
            Bailee swung her gaze Kylie’s way. “Why? Why does it matter?” She looked back at the road with a hard, bitter expression. “I mean, why should I forgive him? After all, he killed mom.” Just saying the words brought her sharp pain. Her dad? Killing her mom? That was completely wrong and went against all laws of nature.  Not to mention the things he’d done to her… things she’d never told anyone. Why ever in this life should she forgive him— much less want to forgive him? It just didn’t make sense. He had ruined all their lives. Once her friends had heard the shocking news they had acted like it was her fault or that she was going to take after her dad. When she needed her friends the most, they’d all left her. All but Amy and Austin and Ben.
            “Because it’s the right thing to do.” Kylie replied softly.
            Bailee’s dark eyes flashed angrily at Kylie. “Well, I don’t always do what’s right, Kylie.”
            Kylie didn’t say anything; just looked at her with those big, sad, blue eyes of hers. Eyes that seemed to pierce Bailee’s very soul. “What?” She snapped.
            Kylie sighed. “Sometimes I don’t think I even know you.” She turned away.      
            Bailee fought burning tears. She didn’t want to get into a fight with Kylie. But they didn’t agree. How could they, when Kylie believed in God and believed that He made everything happen for a specific purpose? That everything was all right?
            Bailee didn’t feel that way. Yes, she’d been brought up in church… at least when their mother had been able to sneak them away to go. And she knew there was a God. But she didn’t know Him. Not like Kylie and Ava did. And there was no way her sisters could justify that what their father did was right— in any way. Or that he was worthy of forgiving. She knew he wasn’t.
But you’re not either, Bailee. Where had that come from? Bailee pushed the thought away; this wasn’t the time to do a self-examining.
            Sydney? Well, Bailee didn’t know about her. She was so closed up that she rarely discussed anything of such personal matters— even with her sisters.
            Bailee broke from her thinking and parked Janie. Kylie got out wordlessly.

            Riley watched Bailee walk away, the wind attempting to blow her petite frame away. Her short brown hair blew around her face, and then she disappeared around the corner of the house with Kylie in tow.
            Riley turned back to sit down and saw Austin watching him with a knowing smile.
            Riley plopped down on the log. “What?”
            Austin’s smile disappeared. “Face it, friend. You’re doomed.”
            Amy laughed. “Bailee’s really sweet, isn’t she?”
            “Mmm.” Riley rested his elbows on his knees.
            “Be careful with her.” Austin warned with a very stern expression. “She’s had enough heartache to last her five lifetimes.” He studied Riley with a protective older brother look.
            Riley looked closely at his friend, searching for some sign of joking. There was none. What was it about Bailee that made Austin so serious? Riley wanted to ask, but something in Austin’s face kept him from it.
            Riley turned to Amy, but she was gazing into the fire with a faraway look in her eyes.
            He shifted on the log. What had Austin meant? It had to be something bad with the way Amy and Austin had changed from teasing and happy to angry and sad within a matter of seconds.

            The next morning Riley woke to extremely bright sunshine streaming through the window directly onto his face. Getting up, he looked outside, and was very pleased to see that the majority of the snow was completely gone. It looked like spring would arrive here on time, after all.
            After getting a shower he went down stairs, knowing Grams would have eggs and toast prepared for him, if not bacon too.
            As expected, Grams was in the kitchen, her back to him as she cut up some oranges.
            “Good morning, Riley,” she greeted over her shoulder, seeming to have heard him come down. “Here are some oranges and there’s a plate of eggs, toast, and hash browns.” She pointed to the plate of food sitting alone at the table.
            “You slept later today then you have been, so your food got cold, and I ate with your grandpa earlier.”
            Riley went and sat down. “That’s ok, Grams. Where’s Gramps?” He shoved a piece of toast in his mouth.
            Grams turned to him with an exasperated look. “Where do you think he is?” She shook her head. “Working on that old barn again, of course. He’s getting much too old to be doing that kind of stuff these days! But his old stubborn pride will let you do nary a thing! Why?” Grams shrugged. “I don’t know. After all, you’re his grandson. It’s not like you’re some neighbor offering charity. Not that it’s charity anyway. I mean, you can’t have some old man trying to build a whole barn- all by himself. It just isn’t done.” She shook her head again, thoroughly disgusted and reached for an orange slice. Biting it, she continued thoughtfully. “He’s gonna kill himself, that’s what he’s going to do, with hardly a thought to his old ailing wife. Why, old Harry Brans even got help to tear down and rebuild his barn, and he’s only fifty-nine. But Bill… well, Bill is Bill. I don’t think he’ll ever change.” She took another orange piece and pointed it at Riley. “It’s pure foolishness on his part, that’s what it is.” She bit the previously outstretched orange. “But you’re still going to help him build it, right?” She stared down at Riley, giving him no choice.
            Riley smiled to himself. “Of course, Grams.”
            Grams smiled sweetly. “Good. Now finish that breakfast of yours and get out there with him!” She left the room, taking an orange slice with her. “If you need me, I’ll be downstairs.” She called.
            After she was gone Riley allowed himself to grin outright. His grandma had a large tendency to ramble on for minutes— or hours, depending on what you got her started on.
            Forking in his last bite of hash browns he rose, put his dishes in the sink, and then went out to help his grandpa.
            Bill Peterson didn’t even acknowledge his grandson as he made his way towards the barely constructed building.
            Riley didn’t care. He stood there a moment, observing the work his grandfather had accomplished then went and picked up the hammer and nails and started where he left off the other day.
            Finally, Bill spoke. “I don’t see how you young folk stand to do it.” He groused.
            Riley waited for him to continue.
            “Stayin’ up all hours of the night and then thinkin’ you can get a full day’s work done. That’s impossible, and you well know it, Riley.” Bill grunted loudly with disapproval.
            Riley hammered a nail into a board and reached for another one. “I wasn’t up past 12:00, Gramps.”
            “Well, I go to bed at 8:30, and then I’m able to get up at 5:30 in the morning. You go to bed as late as you do, and you can’t get up until 8:30 or 9:00.”
            Riley knew that wasn’t true, but contradicting Gramps would be unwise. Especially about something as trivial as sleep. So, he kept his mouth clamped tightly shut and kept on working.
            “Don’t you have something to say for yourself, Boy?”
            Gramps was in a rare mood this morning, Riley realized. He seemed to want to pick a fight. Well, Riley wouldn’t allow it. “You seem to have it all figured out,” he mumbled quietly, not caring if Gramps heard or not.
            But Gramps had much better hearing than Grams and heard distinctly what he said. “You bet I do! There’s no way you can stay in bed all morning and be able and ready for a good full day’s work.” He reached for the handkerchief hanging out of his pocket. “Impossible,” he added as an afterthought.
            Riley wiped his forehead and discarded his flannel over-shirt, leaving his t-shirt on. It was much warmer today than it had been.
            “And as far as you’re concerned, I don’t need you.” Bill exclaimed rather harshly. “I can get this blasted barn up all by myself… without the help of a lazy grandson.”
            Riley ground his teeth together to keep himself from replying. He listened to the pounding of the hammer hitting the nail firmly into the wood. That was lazy? Then Gramps was lazy too. The thought made him chuckle quietly. If Gramps would only listen to himself, he’d see what a fool he was making himself to be.
            Gramps looked up sharply and scowled. “Quit laughing, Son, and get to work. You’re burning daylight.”
            Riley laughed outright. And Gramps thought he didn’t need him?
           
            Bailee waved goodbye to Mary-Lou at the front desk and breathed a sigh of relief as she walked out of the daycare and headed towards her jeep. Generally she liked working with the children, but today had been a little much. Someone had ended up getting blood from a scraped finger everywhere; another child threw the worst fit that Bailee had ever seen in her life. One little boy had discovered what fun boogers could be and decided to spend the rest of the afternoon torturing the other children by stuffing them in their faces. She had been so busy taking care of the fit and blood that she hadn’t been able to stop him. She hadn’t even known he was doing it till a little girl named Emma Leigh came up to her and requested that “Miss Lee-Lee” make him stop because it was very, very nasty. By then he had all the little girls screaming and the little boys ready to rip his head off. After that, Bailee had been ready to rip her own head off.
            She sighed again as she reached Janie; as if the weight she carried was too large. Stacy had informed her earlier when she’d come into work that the mirror on the left side of her jeep had gotten hit and was dangling by only a few cords. She said she thought it was from a tree branch that had fallen, but she wasn’t sure.
            It had been really windy this morning, Bailee recalled, but what were the chances that a branch would just happen to fall at the same exact time her jeep was parked under it? The odds were like what… one in a hundred? Yet she was standing here, observing that one in a million chance that had happened to her. She didn’t want to drive around with Janie in a mess like this, yet she didn’t really have the extra funds to pay for it to be repaired. She wasn’t really sure what to do.
            “That’s too bad.”
            Bailee glanced up at the male voice. “Oh, hi, Jon.”
            “You gonna get it fixed?”
            Bailee touched the poor, mutilated mirror. “I don’t know.”
            “Hmm.” Jon observed the mirror through his thick-rimmed glasses. “Probably wouldn’t be too expensive.” He straightened. “Well, have a nice day, Bailee.”
            Hah, like that’s gonna happen. How could this day get any worse? “You too, Jon.”
            After Jon left she stroked Janie’s dark blue side. “I’m sorry, baby. We’ll get it fixed.”
            She climbed in and headed home. Reaching the apartment, Bailee shoved the key in the lock and turned, then kicked the door open. Kylie should be home. “Kylie!” She called. No answer. Apparently she wasn’t there yet.
            Bailee plodded to her bedroom where she dropped her purse on the bed and her jacket. Kicking off her shoes, she started to make her way out to the kitchen to prepare dinner when she remembered her fish. She turned around and headed back towards her bedroom again.
            “Hold on, Beans. I’m gonna get you your food.” She pinched a few pellets of food. “Here you go.” She dropped them in the water. The little goldfish didn’t move.
            Bailee set down the food canister. Not another one. “Hey, Beans. Wake up, buddy.” She crouched and tapped the glass with her fingernail; Beans didn’t move. Bailee sighed and stood up, picking up the fishbowl with her. And I thought this day couldn’t get any worse.
“Well, Beans, you ready to join Kyle, Porky, Drake, Cleopatra, and Minnie— your fish friends?”
            Bailee carried the fish bowl to the toilet, scooped out Beans and dropped him in. She reached for the toilet handle. If only I can flush him before Kylie gets-
            “Bailee!” Kylie’s sing-songy voice floated to the bathroom as she came through the front door.
            Bailee pushed the handle. The fish went swirling around, and around, then finally disappeared down the hole.
            Kylie peaked her head in the bathroom door. “Bailee? Are you ok?” Kylie came and looked at the empty fishbowl. “Beans too?”
            Bailee simply nodded and stood there staring at the toilet for one more moment. She had sort of hoped she could flush the fish before Kylie saw it… well, here comes a new fish from the pet store. Finally she snatched up the fish bowl, dumped out the water, and headed back to her bedroom. “Well, that’s that.”
            “Oh, don’t worry.” Kylie tagged along behind her. “I’ll be going down by Sherry’s Pet Shop soon; I’ll pick up another Beans there.”
            Bailee mentally groaned. “Really, Kylie? Please, enough with the fishes. Can’t you see that they aren’t going to stay alive?”
            Kylie disappeared in her bedroom and then reappeared a few moments later, changed into a casual outfit.  “Bailee, you have to try.”
            Bailee didn’t respond. That was a ridiculous statement; one she didn’t have a comeback for. She went to the kitchen, pulling out supplies for dinner. Someone really needed to go grocery shopping; there were almost no supplies around.
            “Kylie, you need to go shopping; we need food.”
            “Actually, it’s your turn.” Kylie pulled a bottle of tea out of the fridge and popped the lid. “Oh, by the way, did you notice that your mirror needs to be repaired?”
            Bailee gave Kylie a sidelong glance. As if I couldn’t notice. “Yes. That happened at work. A tree branch fell on it.”
            “Are you going to fix it?”
            Bailee dumped some Italian sausage into a pan. “Probably.”
            Kylie pulled out a bag of frozen broccoli from the freezer.
           
Riley stood on the back porch of the sprawling old farmhouse after dinner, enjoying the crispness of the evening and clear view of the stars overhead.  His grandpa and he had only finished their work about an hour ago, Bill always wanting to stay out till at least dark. Riley had tried to tell him that it wasn’t wise to work on the barn in the dark, being unable to see what you’re nailing and where you’re going, but Gramps would have none of it. He thought he knew best, and Riley was in no position to question him. After all, it was Gramps’ barn, and he if he chose to kill himself by doing things foolishly, so be it.
            Riley sighed and leaned his hands against the wooden railing, looking out across Gramps and Grams’ farm; it really was a beautiful place. If only his grandparents weren’t getting so old; too old to take care of it. He couldn’t really stay here forever, could he? On the other hand, it wasn’t really like he had much pressing him in Kentucky; in fact, nothing at all. He really could stay as long as they needed him. He loved Scranton, Pennsylvania with its rolling hills and open meadows… he’d missed it while he’d been gone.
            “I wouldn’t mind moving here again,” he mused to himself, “wouldn’t mind at all.” The only thing holding him in Kentucky was his apartment, which at the moment a friend was living in while he was gone.
            Plus, he had Austin here, a good friend throughout many, many years, and he wouldn’t mind seeing Bailee a bit either. She’d been on his mind pretty regularly since he’d seen her five days ago. He wondered if there was any way he could convince Austin and Amy to have another get together any time soon.
            Riley rubbed his arms with his hands and after several minutes headed back to the house. It was getting downright chilly.